"Render service with good attitude, as to the Lord, and not to man." -Ephesians 6:7
Why do you love your spouse? What is it that gives you the motivation to do things for them? Do you want them to be nice to you? Do you want them to say thank you? Do you want them to buy you roses or respect you? Do you want them to spend time with you in the bedroom? What is the one thing that keeps you motivated to stay in love with them?
We have already talked about love being unconditional. This is slightly different, yet the same. This goes to the idea of what it is that motivates you. Are you cleaning up after your spouse in hopes that they will appreciate you? Are you seeking some sort of reward for your behavior? Did you buy her flowers in hope of her giving you some adult time?
We often do things looking for an earthly reward without realizing it. Then, when we don't get it, we stopped whatever it is that we were doing. In the case of marriages, we want something from our spouse so we do something for them and hope they will reciprocate it. The only problem with that, is that is not the way God intended us to work.
If that was the way it was supposed to work, then what would happen if your spouse is no longer meeting your needs? Wouldn't you be able then to justify stopping to meet theirs. You could turn to someone else who is meeting your needs. Your spouse could find someone else to meet theirs. And ultimately, everyone would end up divorced and alone. It simply does not work our way.
God's way is different. He says store up your treasures in heaven. He says serve your undeserving, and unbelieving spouse, with kindness and compassion. He says work for Him and not for man (or woman). They will always disappoint you, He never will. This kind of love motivates a person to care for a spouse debilitated with an illness or injury. This kind of love allows a spouse to love when the world tells them to run away.
This kind of love turns the world inside out. It mends broken relationships. It restores the marriage bond. It can take two enemies and turn them into husband and wife again. And it all starts with one person who believes God at His word.
Today's challenge was to identify their needs and pray for them by name. Ask God to help you to see an area where you can help them. I am still at a lost in this one. Patti and I are in a good spot in our life right now. We both are unselfish and selfish at the same time. We tell each other how we feel and we treat each other with respect.
I also know that I do have a hard time, at times, in having alternative motivations when I do something for her. There are times when I buy her flowers and hope that she will remember me at night before going to bed. There are times when I will make something for her and hope she will do something for me. I also struggle to be loving in the middle of being angry with her. I just need to reprogram my brain and look for ways to love her without getting anything back. I need to also find ways to love her even when I can't stand to be around her.
Lord, change the way I think of love. Help me to see my hidden motivation and learn to love because you loved me first. Allow me to live in that love. And then live out your love to the world, starting with my wife and children.
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