Love Dare Day #9, Love makes good impressions

"Greet one another with a kiss of love." 1 Peter 5:14

How do you greet your friends at church?  Do you ignore them and sit down in the pew and start studying the bulletin?  What about your co-workers?  Do you shuffle past them, hurry into your office, lock the door and then completely ignore them?

How about your spouse?  How do you greet her or him?  Do you keep it polite or do you chastise him for leaving his dirty laundry on the floor before leaving?  Do you take out all of your frustrations from being around the children all day?  Do you yell at your wife because you cannot yell at your boss?  Do you bury your head in a newspaper and ignore the family?

The first thing our spouse sees from us makes an impression that lasts for a long time.  Why would a husband hurry home to be with you, if the first thing he gets is berated.  Why would she want him to be home if all he cares about is what's for dinner and did the laundry get done.  I went around recording a lot of my friends love stories as an anniversary present for Patti.  One of my friends has been married for almost 30 years and he said that he still gets a flitter in his heart and he gets really giddy to know that his wife is home when he gets there.  He cannot wait to see her.

I want Patti to look forward to me arriving at the house.  I do not want her to think, "Great one more person to take care of."  I want her to see me coming and her heart skips a beat.  But that starts before I ever leave the house.  Did I leave the sink a mess while getting ready for work?  Did I put away my bowl from breakfast and take the trash out?  I do not want Patti waiting for me only to vent her frustrations.

I also need to learn to drop everything off from work before I get home.  Everything needs to left at work and Patti gets my best, not my worst.  My things to do can wait until after I hear how her day was.  I need to hear her about what new mischief my hoodlums are creating in her life.  I need to listen to her dreams and wants.  I need her to want me there.  I pray that I can always create an atmosphere where love can live and grow.

Comments

[Terri]

My husband and I have been having a really hard time for the last several months. I was given The Love Dare by my sister-in-law. Yeah, I'll do it!!! BLAH-BLAH-BLAH... I did it for 8 days.... OK? So what now!!! He's not different, I'm not---Not until I really got serious.... I was doing many of the dares just through prayer. So i got busy, sharing with my husband...many of the dares. He has picked up on it and suggested for the first time EVER that we go to church. Thank you JESUS!!! I pray over him, with him, for hi, for our marriage...I think we are gonna be OK. We talk about God and what he is doing for us. I feel so lucky to have him and thank God for the gift he sent me in this man.
I usually don't post things like this, but the pastor today said that something you say or do can effect another's salvation. I hope this will effect someone's marriage and willingness to do this program freely and seriously. I'm only on day 9 the second go round. I think about our marriage as a "love triangle" with God at the TOP CENTER. TCR

[Joe Vance]

R,

I am glad you are taking the dare. If you see it through, you will be changed forever. I am currently on day 12 and will never be the same again. I think it will totally be "authentic" if you both do it together. You will see as you go through the dare that each day has the ability to challenge you and cause you to think about ways to express your love to your spouse. You will be asked to do something for your spouse and the cool thing is that the two of you will not be able to do it the same way. Here is an example: on day 3 we were asked to buy something for our spouse. I bought my wife her favorite chocolate and my wife went out and bought me my favorite tea. The idea was the same, but we did not get the same thing. So, yes, you both will be able to do it together. I want to encourage you though, your husband might just go through the motions. You do not know where his heart is right at the moment. There was a line in the movie where Cat asks Caleb what day he was on. He responded day 43. She asked him, "I thought there was only 40 days of dares." To which he responded, "Who says I have to stop." You might think this came after they had made up, but the opposite is true, this came after she filed for divorce and told him point blank that she did not love him. This is not something to start lightly. You have to stick it through. I would encourage you to journal your progress on this website. If we know what you are going through, we can encourage you and pray for you. Please keep in touch. And also, as you will see at the end of this movie/ book, this is not only a males book, but is also for women. Stay on the right track.

[R]

I've purchased the book Fireproof and also the Love Dare. I haven't totally explained it to my husband, but he has agreed to do The Love Dare. My question is, will it be as authentic if we "know" what the other's dare is for the day? In the movie, I think Caleb does the Love Dare at the suggestion of his father. So should I do it myself and then see what the results are or should we both follow it at the same time?

[Joe Vance]

I am glad for your marriage. I would love to hear more about your journey. Feel free to leave more comments on the days journey that you are on. The more people we have who are open and honest as to where they are, I think the better this whole experience will be. Thank you for your devotion to each other and to Christ. He is the author and protector of our faiths and our marriages. May He strengthen you and your marriage.

[tnt]

Thank you for your experiences. My husband and I saw a pre-screening of the movie as well, and it has changed our marriage for the better. We got a copy of this Couple's Kit (did you get one of these, I wonder?) that has a Bible study for couples to do together along with a DVD full of clips from the movie. Along with the Love Dare book, it's really brought us together in Christ. I found it online at www.fireproofoutreach.com. Hope this helps.

You and your wife are trying so hard; thanks for the good example. Don't give up! Bless you.